Page 6 - Senior Times South Central Michigan - March 2020 - 27-03
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Page 6
Senior Times - March 2020
 AGING PARENTS REFUSING NEEDED HELP?
By: Sherii Sherban, Publisher
  The struggle is real. Even when aging parents clearly need assistance with everyday household or personal tasks, they may still resist suggestions to get caregiving help at home.
is a sensitive subject because aging parents often feel like their independence is getting stripped away. Emotions are heightened and self-image is greatly impacted. Be sensitive to their fears and concerns.
Help them to understand that accepting assistance with daily tasks can give them more time and energy to spend with family and friends or on hobbies and personal interests.
 Some aging adults struggle to complete every- day tasks on their own and yet they will not ask for assistance or even accept it when it is offered. It’s time to get more insistent when you notice that the following challenging behaviors are inter- fering with daily living.
• A mountain of mail is piling up.
• Late notices are prominent.
• Spoiled food is collecting in the fridge.
• Personal hygiene habits are falling behind.
Being supported within their home allows them to continue living their familiar and enjoy- able lifestyle – but without the daily challenges they’re currently struggling with.
   If your parents are struggling, the reality is that you are struggling as well. In order to reduce your stress levels and increase your peace of mind you must find a way to rebal- ance their world.
with others will also help you to address ques- tions and topics your parent(s) may bring up.
What’s next? Be patient and positive after the conversation. Real world responses do not generally include them jumping on board with assistance from the get-go. It will not happen immediately, or overnight. It will take time for your parents to accept the necessity and benefits of these changes. Patience and a positive waiting behavior means bringing up potential solutions again and listening to their responses without arguing, interrupting, or raising your voice. Understanding their concerns helps you find solu- tions that will appeal to them.
 While it is frustrating when a parent rejects any type of assistance it is important to intention- ally try to find out why. Generally, there are fears related to a loss of independence. It’s important they know that you will listen to their concerns when you start the conversation. If you can help them to understand that getting assistance now can help them to maintain their independence longer they may be more open to changes at home.
Preparation includes more than just practice,
it may also includes some investigation. You
may want to research potential solutions such as home care agency options, chore services options, or senior services programs such as Meals on Wheels in your community. Furthermore, a call
to their physician may help to fill in some gaps
or to get recommendations. Sometimes, having a doctor recommend caregiving assistance can be enough influence to encourage your parents to listen and be more open to the idea.
In the end, the goal is to help them to remain safely in their own home. Listen to them. Listen to what they are saying between the lines. As an example: Maybe they are lonely and they like your visits. Help them to know that assistance with cleaning the house will allow for the time they spend with you to not be consumed by cleaning the house. If it’s bills that are going unpaid, maybe you could assist them with set- ting up online payments and switch to electronic billing that you can handle. Again, when this task is off the table, your time together can be more enjoyable!
Before the conversation, take time to get prepared. Maybe you need to talk it out. Practice in the car on the way to work, or the way to their house. Practice again, and yet again. Practice in front of the mirror if you need to. When you’re ready practice with your spouse, sibling, or friend. All of these steps can help you to smooth out the flow, reduce unnecessary information because of stressful rambling, and ultimately condense the time needed to share your concerns. Practicing
If possible, choose a location with decreased distractions. Ideally, the discussion would hap- pen in person at a neutral, uneventful time – not during an emotional or meaningful holiday.
Keep in mind that the main goal for having the initial conversation is to introduce the idea of getting help. Solutions may not be forthcoming on the first encounter. Most people need time to process their thoughts and feelings, so it helps to set the expectation that decisions don’t need to be made right away.
During the conversation listen and focus on the benefits for your loved one. Needing help
Find solutions that work for both of you. You’ll be glad you did!
    SENIOR DINING CENTERS
 CITY
Hastings Woodland
Albion Battle Creek Battle Creek Battle Creek Marshall Tekonsha
Jackson Jackson Napoleon Spring Arbor
LOCATION
COA Building Eagles Club
FACILITATOR
Theresa Lancaster Leona Rairigh
PHONE
(269) 948-4856
(269) 367-4041
DAYS TIME
M-F 10am-2pm
M,W,F 10:30am-1pm
 BARRY COUNTY
      Delton
Faith United Methodist
Angela Soya
(269) 579-3918
M,W,T
11am-1pm
 Nashville
Main St. Banqets
Jenny Burlison
(517) 213-9212
M-F
10:30am-1pm
 Meals provided by Barry County Commission on Aging. A program sponsored by Barry County United Way.
 BRANCH COUNTY
       Coldwater
 Coldwater Church of Christ
 Alisha Carr
 (517) 279-8249
 M,T,Th,F
 9am-1pm
 Lunch Served at 12pm
 Meals provided by Community Action Food and Nutritional Services. Funding sources AAA 3C, Branch County United Way, USDA, and private donations.
 CALHOUN COUNTY
       Albion
Albion Forks Senior Dining Center
Cynthia Rose
(866) 200-8877
M,T,W,Th,F
11am-1pm
Lunch served at 12pm
 Clarence Township Dining Center Bedford Manor Dining Center Lakeview 900 Territorial Dining Center Westbrook Place Dining Center Heritage Commons
Tekonsha Community Hall
Mark Rice Billy Castle Karl Hoard Michelle Dove Kitty Knoll
Senior Health Partners
(866) 200-8877 (866) 200-8877 (866) 200-8877 (866) 200-8877 (269) 558-6150
(269) 441-0948
M,T,W M,T,W,Th,F M,W,F M,T,W,Th,F T, Th
T
10:30am-1pm 10:30am-1pm 10:30am-1pm 10:30am-1pm 12-1pm
10am
Lunch served at 11:45am Lunch served at 11:30am Lunch served at 11:30am Lunch served at 11:30am Lunch served at 12pm
Senior Fit & Fun, Lunch after
Athens
Athens Lighthouse Community Center
Senior Health Partners
(269) 441-0948
Th
10am
Senior Fit & Fun, Lunch after
Battle Creek
Cherryhill Manor Senior Center
Constance Siegel
(866) 200-8877
M,T,W,Th,F
10:30am-1pm
Lunch served at 11:30am
Battle Creek
Springview Towers Dining Center
Eileen Worthington
(866) 200-8877
M,T,W,Th,F
10:30am-1pm
Lunch served at 11:30am
Homer
Homer Presbyterian Church
Senior Health Partners
(269) 441-0948
T
10:30am
Senior Fit & Fun, Lunch after
Marshall
Marshall House Dining Center
Deb Trescott
(866) 200-8877
M,W,F
10:30am-1pm
Lunch served at 12pm
 All sites have hot and cold meals. Meals provided by Senior Services SW MI. Funding by Calhoun County Senior Services, CareWell Services - AAA 3B, USDA, and private donations.
 JACKSON COUNTY
 Grass Lake
 Grass Lake Food With Friends
 Annie Lavergne
 (517) 788-4364
 T, Th
 10am-3:30pm
 Lunch served at 12pm
 Crouch Senior Center
King Rec Center, Food with Friends Napoleon Township Hall
Spring Arbor Senior Center
Laurie Mead Laurie Mead Gail Jamieson
Shimone Glaspie
(517) 788-4364 (517) 788-4364 (517) 788-4364
(517) 750-1010
M,T,W,Th,F M,T,W,Th,F T, Th M,T,W,Th,F
8am-4pm 10:30am-1:30pm 10:30am-1:30pm
9:45am-1:45pm
Lunch served at 12pm Lunch served at 12pm Lunch served at 12pm
Lunch served at 12pm
Jackson
Park Forest
Laurie Mead
(517) 788-4364
M,T,W,Th,F
10:30am-1:30pm
Lunch served at 12pm
Michigan Center
St. Aidan’s Episcopal Church
Laurie Mead
(517) 788-4364
M,W,F
10am-2pm
Lunch served at 12pm
Norvell
Norvell/Township Hall
Gail Jamieson
(517) 788-4364
M,W,F
10:30am-1:30pm
Lunch served at 12pm
 To have your senior dining center added or changes to your listing, Call Sherii at (269) 979-1479 ext. 302 or Email: ssherban@scenepub.com.
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