Page 7 - Scene Magazine 45-11 November 2020
P. 7

 The Way I’ve Scene I
  t
BY DENISE POYER
   my gosh! I cannot remember a pass- word for 10 minutes. Even when I write them down... a big no-no, I know, it still doesn’t work.
my work email and my other email. I’m probably missing some, but honestly, its not like I know them, so it hardly matters.
I would be more than happy to oblige, but of course, this all involves a pass- word, and you already know I’m not going to be able to come up with that without a bunch of failed attempts and some language that is perhaps unbe- coming to a lady. The question is, when will it ever stop or at least get easier?
You may have seen the memes...
I enter my user name/password 10 times, it tells me it is wrong, so I select reset password. As soon as I enter my “new” password, the sassy retort from whatever website I am on declares, “Sorry, that password is already in use.” Seriously. I do not have the patience for it. If I could have stomped out the whole Facebook/ Messenger platform today, I would happily have done so. I reset that thing no fewer than four times, and NOW, I cannot use messenger. It wants me to establish a new password, but will that put me back in lock out? I could not get it right.
Every place wants a unique password that has capital letters, numbers and symbols. It all amounts to me getting very irritated and locked out of some- thing. Really, I can’t remember my four digit MPerks number, and every website I visit thinks I might be able to function successfully when I add caps, numbers and symbols? I think not.
It’s kind of looking like never. I am now plotting ways to avoid the confusion in my coming years. For starters, I am seri- ously considering ditching my cell phone the moment I retire. I lived for decades without being available by phone 24/7.
Do you do this, or is it just me? I am just getting too many passwords to re- member. Honestly, I am surprised I don’t need a password to use the stupid john but wouldn’t be at all surprised if I will need one at the pearly gates.
By now, I could happily dump Face- book and just walk away, but honestly, they are holding me hostage because of all the pictures I have on there. It’s also incredibly important that I look at a photo of the casserole an acquaintance from the fifth grade is having for dinner, and for pity’s sake, I needed voting guidance! I do not know how I would have ever man- aged to conduct myself at the polls this year without the thousands of unsolicited opinions of the others for 10 months prior
I spent years and years living in the moment instead of checking the email, The Facebook and the going rate for lady head vases on The Ebay. What if I wrote actual paper checks to pay my bills instead of processing them online? What if I went to antique stores and enjoyed the hunt instead of narrowing a search on eBay to see all 10 pages of what I like in an instant. The question is, if we do
go back to living in the moment, will we need a password for that?
After a very annoying hour or so today, I de- cided that what
I really need in
my life is ONE MORE STINKING PASSWORD! Oh
Let’s review. For the moment, I have passwords for my health insurance, my bank, my doctor “portal,” the hospital that does my testing, and my Amazon account. I have passwords for the phone company, the satellite dish company, Ebay, Etsy, Paypal, Facebook, and Yahoo. I have one for Netflix, my Kohl’s account, and my AT&T internet account. I have one for apps at work, for my benefits,
to the election. I buy things on eBay, Etsy, and Amazon all the time, and each and every seller wants my feedback on the experience of click, buy, pay.
User Name and Password Do Not Match... EVER
I was quite happy to race to the ringing phone with a handset tethered to the wall by a three foot cord that once broken in could stretch a full five feet.
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