Page 9 - Scene Magazine 45-09 September 2020
P. 9

 Scene Around Town
   BY PETER PHELPS
  was automobile rides in our community discovering new neighborhoods each time I ventured out.
I am guessing that an attorney charged for this advice... Divorce Court. Down East in Maine, you might ask where the Smith family lives and will be told Uptha Road, eh yow. And the Moun- taineers could be the butt of jokes with Bear Bottom Drive in West Virginia.
Those journeys got me to thinking about street names, which seem to chronicle our history, culture, and geog- raphy. So with a bit of tongue-in-cheek behind my mask, here is what is out there waiting for each of us.
After a little research, I discovered some... (how should I say this?)... really bizarre street names. I wish I had been in the back of the room when the city planners discussed what monikers they wanted to choose in their municipalities and why.
Wedged between California and Washington, is Oregon who wants its residents to Haviture Way. Speaking of Washington, some would like you to Goa Way. Just south of the border in Hoosierland is an ordinary neigh- borhood with all of the houses looking alike on Generic Road.
According to the National League of Cities, the most popular street name in America is Second Street. Don’t ask me why, but First Street came in third.
Down in Florida, there is Jack Nicklaus Drive, which seems par for the course. In Texas, that fastball pitcher Nolan Ryan has the Ryan Expressway named for him, which is quite striking. And ya sure, those Cheeseheads in ‘Swisconsin’ didn’t fumble when they named Brett Favre Pass.
Though some sound a bit bird- brained, there is Falcon Terrace, Hawk Heights, Crow Circle, and nevermore fitting in Maryland... Raven Way.
Trees, presidents, and numbers can be found in Battle Creek as well as towns and burgs across the country, which are logical, practical, and usually inoffensive choices. To wit, five on the top 20 list include Oak, Pine, Maple, Cedar, and Elm. Presidential names
I also discovered that people all across our great land are hungry for interesting food-named streets. Chicken Dinner Road is in Idaho, and probably comes with potatoes. North Roast Meat Hill in Connecticut seems a bit rare; Burnt Corn, Alabama I’m guessing was left on the stove a bit too long, and Tater Peeler Road in Tennessee can be found
Perhaps you haven’t noticed, but down in the Buckeye state there is the Seldom Seen Road. And finally here is a really crazy example of a curious street name... up in Traverse City is Psycho Path.
on thoroughfares grace most every township in the country as well. And of course, Main Street usually resides right in the center of the city; ours connects with Michigan Avenue near City Hall.
One may think that with all of the social distancing and sequestering that we could be at a dead end. So don’t take DeLong Way. Stop and look around. There is more going on down your street and around the corner than you ever thought possible. Just check out
4 Wheel Drive near the corner of Live Long Street and Prosper Avenue.
Over these past few months, we’ve all been limited
on where we’ve been able to be ‘Scene Around Town.’ One of the pleasures I took during that time
where they are known for their mash. In the Keystone State (Pennsylvania)
But now is where it gets interesting.
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
   Pre-Planning is a Gift to Your Family.
Always
find opportunities to make someone smile, and to offer random acts of kindness in everyday life.
– Roy T. Bennett
                    Funeral Directors: Fred Bachman & Lexie Stygar . 223 N. Bedford Rd., Battle Creek . 269-965-5145 . www.bachmanhebble.com
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