Page 9 - Scene Magazine 45-08 August 2020
P. 9

 Scene Around Town
   BY PETER PHELPS
 You know it’s hot when you rise and the lawn chair gets up with you.
With apolo- gies to my feline friends ... these are the dog days of summer. Named after the canine star Sirius, it is the time of the year in which we resort
with an ever-popular blue tarp. Then drag the garden house out and fill the back of the truck with water making your own personal pool. Warning: you might want to park it in the sun for
  to stupor, idleness, and laziness. Some may use these as excuses; for others they are reasons for inactivity due to the heat and humidity that disguise them- selves as global warming.
Those are all tried-and-true attempts at staying cool.
We each resort to different ways in making ourselves more comfortable when the nighttime temperatures hover in the upper 70s and lower 80s, and daytime hotness reaches the warmth
hand-held fans made of church bulle- tins flapping can offer some relief from above. Or a soft puff of breeze on a ba- by’s face can offer comfort, but cooling oneself during these summer months is difficult no matter where you live.
But for me, there is nothing quite as simple, soothing, and stimulating as dragging a webbed lawn chair
out of the shed, placing it in three
feet of lake water, and plopping my sweating body in it with a splash. Oh certainly, the neighbors might stare; let them. Passing boaters will gawk; so be it. Even your family might feel you really have gone ‘round the bend; so what’s new. But until they have partaken in this procedure of water- wave-after-wave immersion with
sand between their toes can they truly appreciate your inventiveness of how to really be Scene Around Town in the summer.
of blood. During the winter, you can always add another layer of clothing, but in the summer, you can only remove so much before you embarrass yourself without any cooling relief.
Thanks to Thomas Edison whose hot invention was electricity, some are reputed to have sat naked in front of
an open refrigerator door for respite. One might guess it was either the warm temperatures invading the Frigidaire or the view it had that eventually caused the milk to curdle.
Before air conditioning, humans resorted to all methods of trying to cool their bodies. Some placed large blocks of ice in galvanized tubs leaving room for their feet around the edges. More often than not they got little more than cold feet.
If you have a large enough aquarium, you might immerse yourself in it and use a snorkel to get the most out of your total submersion to beat the heat.
The one way that has not yet been invented, but I’m certain someone’s working on it, is a smart phone with
a built-in, battery-operated fan. Think about it. Or how about this, curling up in bed with that water bottle filled with ice cubes you carry around? Now that’s a cool idea on a hot summer’s night.
I believe it was mentioned in the Book of Jerimiah that “I will fan them with a fan in the gates of the land.” It should come as no surprise than that
For those with a pickup truck, one could remove the wheelbarrow, cinder- blocks, and bags of kitty litter left over from your last project, and line the bed
a while before climbing in as water straight from the faucet can be mighty falsetto-freezing.
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