Page 4 - Scene Magazine 45-08 August 2020
P. 4

As Scene By
  no reason to doubt them. Heck, you can find a gazillion books and world-wide-web posts about how to make houses and boxes to attract this animal into the ecosystem that surrounds your home.
My eye caught a shadow – or so I thought. Then another. I turned off the Vac and looked around. Nothing. I went back to the task, but quickened my pace to finish be- fore dark covered the sky. A shadow, another shadow, another shadow, and then LOTS of shadows blotted the yellowed ceiling.
I won’t be one of them. In fact – I think – if you like them... well, you got chirop- tera in your belfry. BATS! They scare me to death. AND... AND... I have my reasons. So be nice about my insecurities, please.
Spring – 2020. My sisters and I are about six months into cleaning my parent’s house after our Dad passed in August. Dad’s favorite tool for cleaning the house was an apology... “Sorry the house is a mess.” He’d say.
I threw the handled-tube of the Vac to the floor without turning it off. In horror, I ran down the hallway until I reached its end. I braced against a closet door, slid down to the carpet, and prepared for counting BATS.
Geez, I’m not sure how many years ago this happened... maybe 15? I was working a really late night at the office. The office is a bit outside the lighted areas of town, and it can be – and was – a little creepy after the midnight hour.
The “plan” for the day was to have my buddy, Doug, help me for a couple hours with the heavy stuff in the basement. About a half-hour into the “plan” I wrenched my back lifting a generator out of the garage.
You probably know that a ShopVac has an exhaust hole. But you probably don’t know that if you point that exhaust hole at the wall, it’ll blow ten years of dust bunnies and cobwebs... EVERYWHERE!
It’s around 3am, and a shadow flutters past all three of my computer monitors. Then, it happens again. I turn my head left, but... turn my eyes to the right. I look up. I look behind, and I look all around... nothing. So I keep working. Then it happens again!
I sent Dougie home. “Lifting” stuff was just not gonna happen.
Yep, a decade of cobwebs, were being lifted one after the other from the walls by the Vac exhaust – swirling in shadowed circles around the living room.
Be a super sleuth... join the ongoing hunt for Rick DeRuiter
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elusive DeRuiter. Warn your friends. Warn your neighbors. He’s in there somewhere, waiting for the one lucky detective to find him!
LOOK! - Now you can e-mail your detective work too! Include your name, daytime phone, and what page you found him.
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This time I swung my chair around QUICKLY. Flopping, fluttering, and drunk- enly there’s a BAT flying in circles around the light in the middle of my office. AHHH! Instinct kicks in, and I grab the first weapon I can find... a yardstick.
the living room. It went fairly well, and dusk was just settling in. “I’m gonna vacuum before I leave.” I said out loud.
Do you know what that is? No, it’s not a dinosaur. It’s the scientific name of an “everyday” animal. Some folks speak volumes about the benefits of this animal. And I have
For the next 20 minutes I’m swinging Luke-Skywalker-style at the chiroptera.
I’m terrified, I’m alone, and I’m sweating... A LOT. I actually don’t think I hit him.
I think he just flew into the yardstick out
of boredom. He laid there still on the floor, and I used the stick to flick him across the carpet until I reached the front door. When
I went home that morning, he was gone. So he lived. And so did my memory of shadows above my head.
The ShopVac was ready. The yellowish glow of a 40-watt bulb made the room a little bit eerie. I unrolled an extension cord, turned on the ShopVac, and started at the farthest corner by the fireplace.
What’s In Your Belfry?
I decided that I’d spend the next few hours cutting apart a dingy recliner, then, emptying the last of the odds and ends from
I bowed my head in shame. I smiled.
I laughed. And now, I have chiroptera, AND dust bunnies in my belfry!
  Have you found him in this issue?
If yes, call Scene at 979-1410 ext. 307 or email to have your name entered in the drawing to receive A GIFT CERTIFICATE TO A LOCAL BUSINESS. You must make your discovery by September 5, 2020 and the winner will be announced in the next issue of Scene!

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