Page 9 - Scene Magazine 45-07 July 2020
P. 9

                                    Scene Around Town
   BY PETER PHELPS
   thought at first I was watching the Car- toon Network where a couple of seven- year-olds were arguing over a YouTube video. But upon further investigation, I discovered I was watching the evening news where some elected officials were caterwauling about something senseless.
Finally, being a transplanted Hoosier, I am not certain of the ‘allure’ of this law, but in Indiana, “no one may catch
a fish with his bare hands.” Which begs the question, who would want to?
It got me to thinking about how simple some solutions could be if people would just apply some not-so-common common sense. Then I remembered what Mark Twain said about politicians. “Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
or she shall risk arrest, fine and/or jail.” Can a married woman hit the silk, and why Sunday and not, say, Thursday or Tuesday?
I don’t know why we continue to elect and re-elect politicians who should be ‘Scene Around Town’ as having better things to do than pass laws that make
no sense. I guess good legislation is a “work” in progress.
With all of the important issues that need addressing, it baffles me sometimes about how elected officials can’t seem
to solve some real problems by passing laws that don’t go against basic logic. Our highly paid members of Congress have no trouble wasting our hard-earned tax dollars by either doing nothing or by passing stupid laws, but they can’t seem to figure out what is worthwhile and what is not. We need to remind them of that, especially at election time.
Out in Helena, Montana, “it is illegal to annoy a passersby on sidewalks with a revolving water sprinkler.” I wonder if it is lawful to squirt them with a regular nozzle on the end of a hose just for fun.
As Will Rogers once said, “With Con- gress, every time they make a joke it’s
a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.” Sadly nobody is laughing at what Congress is or isn’t doing.
 With that as background, let’s look at some prime examples of the types of laws our lawless-makers make. Did you know that down in the Lone Star State, that “when two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone?” Talk about legisla- tors with a one-track mind.
                    In Florida, “an unmarried woman is prohibited from parachuting on Sunday
Sometimes you gotta say, “What in the heck were they thinking?”
must close by 1am?” I guess our pol- iticians don’t want people ‘playing a round’ too much after dark.
The other day I turned on the tele- vision and viewed a fair amount of silly squabbling. I
I have heard people describe the arid state of Nevada as being the color of creamed coffee, but in the Silver State, “it is illegal to drive a camel on the high- way.” I presume that is referring to both one-hump and two.
Stupid Laws Abound
Right here in the Wolverine State, did you know that “putt-putt golf courses
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     In Los Angeles, California, policy- makers may have been out in the sun way too long before passing a law that says “you are not allowed to throw a Plu- to Platter (Frisbee®) at a county beach without the lifeguard’s permission.”
In the Buckeye state, “it is illegal to get a fish drunk.” I cannot fathom why anyone would want to pour good alcohol into a lake, would you?
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