Page 7 - Scene Magazine 45-05 May 2020
P. 7

 The Way I’ve Scene I
   fresh green, is at its most vivid this time of year. The smell of cut grass is still new enough that I inhale deeply when it is in the air, and the Magnolia tree next door is showing off in a way that only she can. How on earth can Mother Nature be so smart and so dumb at the same time?
If rabbits were featured on the Property Brothers, a show where two moderately good looking brothers pitch three pieces of real estate (which they themselves undoubtedly own) to po- tential buyers. By the end of the show, the couples, who have housing budgets that boggle my mind, choose one of
the three offerings, and the Brothers remodel it. How is it that couples in their 30’s have $500,000 for their first home? Our first home was $29,000, and those $360 house payments kept us on a tight budget.
Michigan teased us with some warm days in early March, and the peonies started shoving their way into the world. It was too early for them, but they, like demanding toddlers, were determined to have their way. When cold temps and snow returned, as they always do here in the Mitten, those defiant peonies, along with their neigh- bors – the lilies and hostas, all held their own with no thanks to me.
the cemetery, but no, you wanted the place that has amenities with the least amount of effort.
I’m not a big plant-coverer, but don’t judge me. I’m not the one who crawled out of my warm bed too early, so I figure, they can just suffer the con- sequences of their actions. I left them naked to commiserate with the robins,
Now, if the Brothers were doing
a rabbit special, they would offer the lovely wooded area behind our house, the relatively undisturbed older section of the cemetery across the way, or our back yard, and you know what those stupid Leporidae are going to pick? Yeah, they for sure want our back yard. Maybe it’s the lush green grass buffet with a clover bar. Perhaps it is the draw of the fully fenced-in area
Spring has sprung, and Moth- er Nature does not disappoint. Lush plant life has made its grand entrance into the world, and that incomparably tender, bright,
who also fell for the promise of warmer days. Somehow, they all survived. Mother Nature seems to have it all under control except when rabbits are involved. Seriously, is there a dumber animal in the kingdom? I think not. Each year, some stupid rabbit chooses our yard as an ideal place to have her babies.
with miniscule escape routes. It could be the spacious hiding area provided by our deck, but what I really think it must be is the two different kinds of dog poop. Yep, rabbits are dumb. Not only is there dog poop, but it is terrier poop. Terriers LOVE vermin. They live for it. Hey nature! Why did you not give rabbits enough sense to know that dog poop is paramount to death? It never fails. The ridiculous rabbits plant their babies in a shallow grave – oops, I mean hole in our yard, and the terrier militia hunts and destroys every single one. They buzz with the thrill of it all and I feel badly, but dang. Mrs. Cottontail, you could have picked
This means that on any given day during bunny season, I am outside shooing off the rabbits before I can
let the dogs out to go potty. This also means that my neighbors will be treated to a glimpse of me dressed not in the lovely pajamas that my husband buys me, but in the comfort of boxer shorts, a t-shirt, and some very ugly turquoise, plastic poop-proof shoes, and some re- ally interesting bed-head hair – you’re welcome people. Hello, springtime! Mother Nature, you need to talk to those rabbits.
Drop it!

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