Page 27 - Senior Housing Directory 2022 South Central Michigan
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 seems to be in disarray, it's probably not because of a sudden illness. It's much more likely to stem from the loss of a life-long relationship. Family may be a great solution to help with managing the home. Friends can provide social support when you are ready. At some point building new relationships will be beneficial. You may want to find new ways to take on a larger role in the lives of your adult children or grand children.
Address sibling issues to reduce impact on parents. Sadly resentment can creep in when siblings disagree about care. It does not matter if the frustrations result from disagreements about care, unbalanced care responsibilities, conflicts with personal needs, or feeling left out of care decisions because a family member lives so far away, sibling rivalry erupts and can get emotion- ally-charged. Old family issues are brought back to life and the redirection can blur the focus of care... the aging adult. Sometimes siblings must address their interpersonal relationships and tensions before they can focus on the parent with full intent.
Address caregiving responsibilities thoughtfully. It’s important to first determine what the needs are before you automatically start assuming one family member or another will meet them. Common tendencies and frustrations
have been experienced because...
• One sibling lives close by so he will start
helping with small things. A year later he is spending 40+ hours a week there and anger is building because the other siblings are not doing their ‘fair share.’
• One sibling becomes the primary caregiver because they don’t work and now get paid for caregiving. This soon turns to resentment when it appears that Mom or Dad are running out of money.
• One sibling needs a place to stay. In the short term it seems like a good idea because it will help both of them. In the long term, talking starts because they are taking advantage.
• Or it might be as simple as the son does the physical work and handles the finances and the daughter provides the emotional support. The reality is that neither might have those strengths and the end result is a broken down house with a spent bank account.
While these initial assumptions sound great on the surface, they can all have long-term con- sequences. They are not focused on care needs or the skills of the adult children or address
the distribution of caregiving support equitably. Parents, you have the ability to help diminish
sibling rivalry behaviors from getting in the way of helping to ensure the best quality of life possible.
The solution for finding the best caregiv- ing options takes a greater investment of time but yields better results; it’s time for a family meeting.
Schedule a family meeting to seek an agree- ment regarding who will do what, if anyone is paid and how that will work, will someone move in, and when is professional assistance the next step. If caregiving is already out of balance then rebalancing needs should be on the agenda. And finally, if siblings simply cannot agree, or you cannot keep from picking sides, then a neutral person leading this meeting might be required.
When caregiving begins, it is important to keep all siblings up to date. You can pre-empt frustrations by respectfully making sure you continue to share the same information with all involved in caregiving. Whether it’s finances, doctor appointment results, or household tasks ... communicate, communicate, communicate.
Even though it might seem like it... it’s never too late to talk, but starting today could make the road ahead a lot smoother.
Park Place Assisted Living is a non-profit
affordable senior living community which includes assisted living, respite care and memory care services. At Park Place Assisted Living, we bring heart and authenticity to each relationship, embracing purpose, vitality and independence for everyone.
• Memory and Specialized Care
• Respite and Short Term Care
• Income-based Program for Qualified
Residents with Financial Challenges
4222 S. Westnedge | Kalamazoo, MI 49008 | P: 269.388.7303 | F: 269.388.4226 |
 For more information call the toll free number at
The Ombudsman advocates for residents who reside in licensed long-term care (LTC) facilities to resolve problems and promote high-quality care. Services are free of charge.
Call an Ombudsman when you:
• Have unresolved questions or concerns about care.
• Have questions about your rights in a facility.
• Have questions on alternatives to nursing home care.
• Have questions or need technical expertise on LTC issues. • Want to schedule a presentation on issues related to LTC. • Are shopping for LTC services.

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