Page 6 - Senior Times June 2019 26-06
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Page 6Senior Times - June 2019OVERCOMING SIBLING RIVALRY HELPS WHEN YOUR SANDWICHEDBy: Sherii Sherban, PublisherSibling rivalry can be one of the most challenging sources of turmoil families face, even into adulthood. Sometimes it kicksinto full gear after adulthood as emotions arise from resentment, judgement, and more. When we can overcome the challenges of our youth then we can create a greater support system for aging parents as well as model behaviours that our children will learn from.sibling sees your commitment to change, your relationships with others will improve, and hopefully them as adjustment of power in relationships. Healthy children must eventually develop their own identity, separate and apart from their parents. When conflicts arise, parents and children may bicker endlessly for control of their relationship. As they grow, first born children may be able to intimidate their par- ents if their parents were latter born children. They may demand a form of respect that we we’re not prepared to give. Both children and parents can make mistakes, and both must learn to apologize when they are wrong, to forgive when they are right, and to respect each others’ differences when they disagree. If, however, our pride gets in the way and we find ourselves competing with our children, we may be re-enacting old battles.Forgiveness and Repentance in Sibling RelationshipsIf we've had conflict with siblings in the past, it's rarely too late to make a new start. It just requires commitment to the effort. Sibling rivalry can be taken into many aspects of our everyday life without even realizing it, especially as is pertains to pat- terns of communication and handling dis- agreements. Consider the following:Although siblings grow up in the same household, each has distinct personalities and interests. These differences can trigger conflict, even after we become adults. If we practice principles of kindness, repentance, forgiveness, charity, love, and generosi-• Conflicts in our roles as spouses. When spouses experience marital problems, they sometimes lock horns and defend their status as “the one who is right.” At times, it takes• Conflicts between grown children and parents. While few of us are comfortable with the aging process, even fewer of us want to feel treated like “children” by our children. Older adults sometimes feel a loss of status when their previous strengths seem frail by comparison. Parents who were once in charge and all-powerful, often have diffi- culty relinquishing their authority and allow- ing themselves to be cared for by their grown children. But this reversal of roles is a natural part of life. Adult children need to show their elderly parents sufficient concern, and aging parents need to show their children adequate appreciation. Most of us simply want respect, but in the name of stubbornness, some elders may refuse to anoint their children as their successors; and in the name of stubbornness, some grown children may decide to abort family traditions.ty, we're more likely to build harmonious relationships with our adult brothers and sisters. When sibling rivalry causes deep rifts, forgiveness can be a healing balm. Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to do. We may feel so hurt by a sibling that we conclude his or her actions are beyond repentance.a bulldozer to bring both partners to the bar- gaining table. Rather than view the discus- sion of problems as the road to solutions, the underlying battle sometimes becomes “there is nothing wrong with me.” We may confuse our need to be right with our willingness to fix our relationships.Sometimes we need to forgive even when a sibling hasn't asked to be forgiven. This principle is especially important in families where tiny molehills of misunderstanding are fanned into mountains of argument. If a sib- ling has wronged us, we can't control when he or she seeks our pardon, if they ever do. In the meantime, if we choose to hold grudg- es or harbor resentment, then that pain can often be passed on to future generations.• Conflicts in our roles as parents. When parents experience the challenges of meeting the needs of their children and then have to balance that with the needs of their aging parents having the support of siblings canIf we are the one who has wronged a sib- ling, it's up to us to change our hearts. Don’t expect acceptance overnight but when yourbe priceless. The role as parent sometimes, however is so consuming that it may inter- fere with the role we agreed to with siblings. A regular time of conversation with siblings regarding the duplicity of roles that everyone plays can create a support system in both directions.Sibling Rivalry Doesn’t Stop at the Front Door• Birth order may influence our roles as parents. Raising children requires the on-go-As adults, we have the opportunity toCITYHastings WoodlandAlbion Battle Creek Battle Creek Battle Creek Marshall TekonshaJackson Jackson Napoleon Spring ArborLOCATIONCOA Building Eagles ClubFACILITATORTheresa Lancaster Leona RairighPHONE(269) 948-4856(269) 367-4041DAYS TIMEM-F 10am-2pmM,W,F 10:30am-1pmSENIOR DINING CENTERSBARRY COUNTYDeltonFaith United MethodistAngela Soya(269) 579-3918M,W,T11am-1pmNashvilleMain St. BanqetsJenny Burlison(517) 213-9212M-F10:30am-1pmMeals provided by Barry County Commission on Aging. A program sponsored by Barry County United Way.BRANCH COUNTYColdwaterColdwater Church of ChristAlisha Carr(517) 279-8249M,T,Th,F9am-1pmLunch Served at 12pmMeals provided by Community Action Food and Nutritional Services. Funding sources AAA 3C, Branch County United Way, USDA, and private donations.CALHOUN COUNTYAlbionAlbion Forks Senior Dining CenterCynthia Rose(866) 200-8877M,T,W,F10:30am-1pmLunch served at 12pmClarence Township Dining Center Bedford Manor Dining Center Lakeview 900 Territorial Dining Center Westbrook Place Dining Center Heritage CommonsTekonsha Community HallMark Rice Billy Castle Karl Hoard Michelle Dove Kitty KnollSenior Health Partners(866) 200-8877 (866) 200-8877 (866) 200-8877 (866) 200-8877 (269) 558-6150(269) 441-0948M,T,W M,T,W,Th,F M,W,F M,T,W,Th,F T, ThT10:30am-1pm 10:30am-1pm 10:30am-1pm 10:30am-1pm 12-1pm10amLunch served at 11:45am Lunch served at 11:30am Lunch served at 11:30am Lunch served at 11:30am Lunch served at 12pmSenior Fit & Fun, Lunch afterAthensAthens Lighthouse Community CenterSenior Health Partners(269) 441-0948Th10amSenior Fit & Fun, Lunch afterBattle CreekCherryhill Manor Senior CenterConstance Siegel(866) 200-8877M,T,W,Th,F10:30am-1pmLunch served at 11:30amBattle CreekSpringview Towers Dining CenterEileen Worthington(866) 200-8877M,T,W,F10:30am-1pmLunch served at 11:30amHomerHomer Presbyterian ChurchSenior Health Partners(269) 441-0948T10:30amSenior Fit & Fun, Lunch afterMarshallMarshall House Dining CenterDeb Trescott(866) 200-8877M,W,F10:30am-1pmLunch served at 12pmAll sites have hot and cold meals. Meals provided by Senior Services SW MI. Funding by Calhoun County Senior Services, CareWell Services - AAA 3B, USDA, and private donations.JACKSON COUNTYGrass LakeGrass Lake Food With FriendsAnnie Lavergne(517) 788-4364T, Th10am-3:30pmLunch served at 12pmCrouch Senior CenterKing Rec Center, Food with Friends Napoleon Township HallSpring Arbor Senior CenterLaurie Mead Laurie Mead Gail JamiesonShimone Glaspie(517) 788-4364 (517) 788-4364 (517) 788-4364(517) 750-1010M,T,W,Th,F M,T,W,Th,F T, Th M,T,W,Th,F8am-4pm 10:30am-1:30pm 10:30am-1:30pm9:45am-1:45pmLunch served at 12pm Lunch served at 12pm Lunch served at 12pmLunch served at 12pmJacksonPark ForestLaurie Mead(517) 788-4364M,T,W,Th,F10:30am-1:30pmLunch served at 12pmMichigan CenterSt. Aidan’s Episcopal ChurchLaurie Mead(517) 788-4364M,W,F10am-2pmLunch served at 12pmNorvellNorvell/Township HallGail Jamieson(517) 788-4364M,W,F10:30am-1:30pmLunch served at 12pmTo have your senior dining center added or changes to your listing, Call Sherii at (269) 979-1412 ext. 302 or Email:

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