Page 9 - Scene Magazine 4501 January 2020
P. 9

The Way I’ve Scene ItBY DENISE POYERcomes up, my head echoes, “Putin ona Ritz,” and I imagine the meme witha picture of his face plastered on a Ritz Cracker... makes me smile every single time. I turned to the Hub, incredulous, with my mouth gaping and said, “Are you kidding? He’s going to be in office for another 24 years?” He stared at me for a moment, blinked a slow Koloa bear stoned on eucalyptus sort of blink, and said in a measured tone, “Nooooo, he was re-elected. He is in office until then.” I said, “Yeah, that’s 24 years! How can they do that? That is entirely too long for elected officials to hold of- fice. 24 year terms. That’s nuts.” Shak- ing his head and very likely rolling his eyes, he said evenly, “Honey, 2024 is four years from now not 24. 2020 starts tomorrow.” I nearly fell over for three reasons. First, how can 2024 alreadyI worked part time while I went to school though, so even that was a lot of money to me. It all feels like on the radar of the not so distant future? Second, how can anyone be this dense, and third, I was laughing so hard, I nearly lost consciousness! How incredibly dumb can I get? Wait, don’tI have a countdown to retirement app on my phone that breaks my remaining work years all the way down to minutes and seconds. Think time goes by quick- ly? Yeah, check that thing every day! It nearly stops time completely! I pretty much quit looking at it. Partly, because it is like waiting for a pot to know, the more you look, the less evident the progress is. But, moreover, how dare I. How dare I rush even one of my precious minutes away. The gift of life is made of every single day, andI am determined to use each one instead of tripping over them like they don’t matter. They all do. So! If a random day includes entertaining the Hub with my own special form of math, then so be it! Happy New Day!On television the other day, a reporter mentioned that Vladimir Putin, having been re-elected in 2018, would be in office until 2024. Every time his nameHappy New Day!answer that, I may not want to know the truth. I’m blaming my age, because I cannot possibly be that dense, can I? Please say no.Time is flying at an alarming speed, isn’t it? For crying out loud, 1970 just turned 50! Doesn’t it seem like justa few years ago that we were fretting over Y2K and wondering if our com- puters were all going to crash at the stroke of midnight? How big was that computer? About the size of a micro- wave oven I’ m guessing, right? Some- where in the neighborhood of 17 years ago, the chirp of Nextel push to talk could be heard everywhere you went, because evidently, it was necessary to use your walkie-talkie in the car, at dinner, and in the restroom. Thankful- ly, those buggers are a memory now. Facebook fans? That social network giant has already been keeping us connected for 16 years. And, are you kidding me? YouTube, the video shar- ing service, is 15 years old already! YouTube is my guilty pleasure. I can peruse its endless library of music, TED Talks, and as many conspiracy theory videos as I can stand for hours, and I never run out of entertainment. How did I ever live without THAT? Remember the horror when gas prices tipped over the $4 mark in 2008? Gosh, I was completely freaked out when it took $60 to fill my MonteCarlo gas tank every week. It sure made me long for the days when I could drive for two weeks on a $15 fill up for my 1979 Chevy Chevette. THOSE were the good old days for me! There I was, with my full gas tank, jamming to my favorite cassette tapes, and happily driving my own self anywhere I wanted to go. I don’t remember how much my insurance was at that time, but my car payments were $72 a month! Bahhahahaha.MEN IN BUSINESS I SCENE 4501 9

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