Page 4 - Scene Magazine 4501 January 2020
P. 4

As Scene ByBY FREDERICK (RICK) DERUITER, PUBLISHERpretty good life. My life is like having an above ground pool. At least it’s a pool.”I have been witness to many such moments of confusion. My friend Doug was in the midst of a DIY project in the bathroom and called out to his daughter. “Maegan, can you grab me a Phillips screwdriver from the drawer in the kitch- en?” When Maegan showed up at the door without the screwdriver, Doug was, well, miffed. “Where’s the screwdriver?” he asked. Maegan answered emphatically... “Dad, there aren’t any Phillips, only Stanley!” Yep, confused.I was on my way into the grocery store and noticed a man struggling mightily as he tried to change a flat tire. So I thought... “I’ll give him a hand if he’s still there when I come out.” Sure enough – he was still wrestling with that tire. “Excuse me. Could you use a hand with that?” The man stood up, and raised his arms to adjust his hat. “Yes, please!” He had a kind face. He also only had one hand! I was confused about what to say next. I changed the tire quickly. Then marble-mouthed an apology for saying “hand.” Geez, I felt horrible.For the sake of this column, I won- dered if I could be as honest about how smart I think I really am. When I make something or plan something, I always have a plan “B.” I think that’s pretty darn smart. Turns out that I always have a plan “B” because I’m not so smart as to have regular success with plan “A!” For that matter, a successful plan “B” is no guaran- tee either. Yep, same as my high school GPA... B+. So I’m pretty smart – just not really smart.“I’d like to deposit this in checking and get a hundred dollars back please.” The teller smiled at me politely and carried on with the task. “And here’s your $800.”CAMP. FIRE. WOOD. Three words. All stacked one on top of the other on a sign near my office. For days I read that sign. And for days – for no particular reason – it confused me. I couldn’t, and still haven’t decided if the sign meant... campfire wood, or camp firewood. Why the sign bothered me so much, well, I couldn’t say. As I mentioned... pretty smart... just not really smart.I bring this all up because I can get confused. I was rummaging through the supply drawer at the office the other day in search of some paperclips. As I picked up and placed to the side box after box, my patience was being tested. EVERY box said Staples. “Hey, does anybodyHe said. “What? No wait. A hundred. Not eight hundred.” Yep, confused.4 SCENE 4501 I MEN IN BUSINESSI was watchinga comedian not too long ago who had an amazingly honest way of describing his life. When asked if he had a good life, he answered this way... “I have aknow if we have more paperclips?”A quick response came from another room... “They’re in the supply drawer.” “But they ALL say staples.” I said. Then it dawned on me – all the supplies were pur- chased at Staples, and were stamped with their logo. “Found them.” Then I walked silently and sheepishly back to my office.describe this player as a “Pro Bowler.” When my wife heard that the player who made the last tackle was a nine-year player and a Pro Bowler – well, she was impressed... “He’s also a professional bowler?” Yep, confused.Confused.When a professional football player has been honored as an all-star, he is invited to participate in the Pro Bowl. It is the habit for football announcers toDON’T MISS YOUR CHANCE TO WIN!Be a super sleuth... join the ongoing hunt for Rick DeRuiterPour through the pages of Scene this month and find theelusive DeRuiter. Warn your friends. Warn your neighbors. He’s in there somewhere, waiting for the one lucky detective to find him!LAST MONTH... Page... 19 LAST MONTH’S WINNER... MARY JO AMUNDSONLOOK! - Now you can e-mail your detective work too! Include your name, daytime phone, and what page you found him.OR on-line at... www.scenepub.comWHERECOULD HE BE?Have you found him in this issue?If yes, call Scene at 979-1410 ext. 307 or email to have your name entered in the drawing to receive A GIFT CERTIFICATE TO A LOCAL BUSINESS. You must make your discovery by February 5, 2020 and the winner will be announced in the next issue of Scene!WIN A VALUABLE PRIZE!

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