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As Scene ByBY FREDERICK (RICK) DERUITER“Hey, how ya do- ing?” I say.The two young men smile and walk passed without slow- ing their stride. I overhear the next line of their conversa- tion...“You know him, too,” one of them says. “Oh yeah, he’s hereall the time,” his co-worker replies.News travels fast in the small com- munity of a local retail establishment. Or, in this case, the hardware store. We’ll get backto these two fellows in just a bit.I like white interior doors in my house.I don’t know why. I just do. And, I don’t like chrome or brass door handles so much. I don’t know why. I just don’t. I always spray paint the handles... it’s cheaper.My new house has eight interior doors that sport the very same stain that they began their life with nearly 50 years ago. With brass and chrome door handles of course. I was on a mission to remedy this situation, and I wanted it done by Christmas.There is a brand, a type, and a depend- able sheen of paint that I’ve grown fond of. It has a satin finish, it’s bright white, and it’s recommended for either interior or exterior use. I’m so enamored with it, that I’m alwaysNew Paintsure to have at least a quart of it in the work- shop. I consider it to be as important as tooth- paste, and I’ve used it in more places than I count in my 30-plus years as a homeowner.My current quart of this paint was nearly empty. I figured it’d take at least two to cover the eight doors, and a bit of stain blocker, too – or primer if that’s your preferred term. I don’t care how good a paint can label claims it can cover... it’ll never beat a stained door... believe me.Imagine my horrors when I discovered the hardware store did not have any of my favorite paint on the shelf. I whined to my wife,“Where is it?” “You’d better ask if there is some out back,” she said.The helpful girl behind the paint count- er checked for me. Sure enough... they were out... it’d be a few days before they’d restock. Time is running out. It’s late October, and I needed to get started on the doors! “Whatever will I do?” I thought.“We have some other paint on sale,” she said. Then added in a sympathetic tone, “It just may work for you.” The price was too good to pass up. So I agreed, and she grabbed a gallon of it for me.The next day... I painted two coats of primer on each of side of the first door. Then added a coat of the paint I’ve never used before. The doors dried with a streaky gold color. So, I did it again. Same result. I wentback to the hardware store for some “better” primer. Same process. Same result. So, after four days of painting, and nine coats of paint (on both sides)... um... some colorful words were used. I gave up.Christmas arrived... I had finished one door, and it was hideous! “Maybe the paint is bad?” my wife suggested.The holidays flew by, and my passion to beat the doors was renewed. “I need the BEST primer money can buy.” I bought two quarts – applied it on a second door – then, brushed on the new paint. It dried streaky gold.“FIND THE RECEIPT, I’M TAKING IT BACK!”I marched right up to the paint counter. “This white paint is AWFUL, and I want to return it!” With a calm and patient smile, the lady behind the counter answered... “This isn’t paint. It’s tint.”My face relaxed... “Oh.”I exchanged the gallon for real paint. Apologized to my wife for my language. Finished the doors. Then imagined the rest of the conversation from the two young fellows at the beginning of this journey...“Yeah, he’s a awfully nice alright. He even helped me find something for a customer.”“Me too,” the other replies... then adds with a laugh... “But don’t ever ask him for help in the paint department!”DON’T MISS YOUR CHANCE TO WIN!Be a super sleuth... join the ongoing hunt for Rick DeRuiterPour through the pages of Scene this month and find theelusive DeRuiter. Warn your friends. Warn your neighbors. He’s in there somewhere, waiting for the one lucky detective to find him!LAST MONTH... Page 27 LAST MONTH’S WINNER... SHANE COPELOOK! - Now you can e-mail your detective work too! Include your name, daytime phone and what page you found him.OR on-line at... www.scenepub.comWHERECOULD HE BE?Have you found him in this issue?If yes, call Scene at 979-1410 ext. 307 to have your name entered in the drawing to receive A GIFT CERTIFICATE TO A LOCAL EATERY. You must make your discovery by March 5, 2018 and the winner will be announced in the next issue of Scene!WIN A VALUABLE PRIZE!4 SCENE 4302 I HEALTH & FITNESS

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