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As Scene ByBY FREDERICK (RICK) DERUITERI have a somewhat uncomfortable rela- tionship with my cell phone. I hate it.The word “hate” seems a little strong. Heck, maybe even a little childish. So for the heck of it... Iwent to to find some synonyms for the word “hate.” Mostly because I want to “seem,” well, like an adult, maybe smart, maybe well informed... hah... good luck Rick!A couple months ago I was visiting one of my favorite places (shh, hardware store), and had taken photos of some plumbing fixtures – so that I could buy newer versions of the worn out parts. I placed my phone just above the rows of shut-off valves with the photo of the broken part displayed on the screen.“AHA. Here it is!” I grabbed the part, and another one too – just in case I guessed wrong. I marched up to the check out, paid for the parts, then marched out to the car. As I started up the car, and began to pull out of my parking spot... I checked my pockets for all my belongings. “It’s not here!” So, back into the store I went to get my irritating (synonym) cell phone. It’s NOT the only time this has happened.Misunderstood?Cell phones... I loathe them.Now, I have to admit that the cell phone already has a strike against it for me. I’ve never really liked landline phones either. The telephone in my life has always been a bother. I haven’t been known to dally an afternoon away chewing the fat with anyone. The phone has always been an interruption... a constant irritant to progress. I’m not in sales – I’m in production.The short anecdote I shared earlier was “one” of my attempts to include the cell phone into my life. Another would be when I thought I’d go ahead and use the calculator function. I LOVE tools, so my thinking was that if I treated the cell phone like a tool... well, I’d like it more. Of course there’s a tiny problem with my plan. I have six ham- mers, eight tape measures, and forty gazillion screwdrivers for a reason... I set them down, and I lose them... ALL THE TIME! The cell phone costs $600! Lets just say I won’t be purchasing any extra ones. Oh, and the calcu- lator idea? Yeah, I set it down... it fell behind the pillow on the couch in my office... it took two days to find it.Cell phones... what a nuisance.There are of course, easy gripes about cell phones. Like when you can’t figure out what the heck the car is doing in frontyou, then discover that the driver is on their phone. Or when you look up from ANY type of waiting room and look around to discover everyone is on their phone. It seems weird that no one likes to talk to actual people, but adores sharing with the world what they had for lunch.Until recently, the only way I’ve been able to keep track of the darn thing is to always keep it in the same place... ALWAYS. It’s either next to my bed at home, or in a cup (labeled cell phone) next to my keyboard at the office. I miss a lot of calls. Which my family, friends, and co-workers hate – oops, I mean they find it repugnant.Did you catch the word “recently” in the previous paragraph? I just might have a cure for my rancor (this synonym idea has been fun) with my cell phone. Her name is Charley. Well, I call her Chaz. She has big blue eyes, a smile that will melt your heart, and dimples as big as lakes. She’s my grand- daughter. I update the wallpaper screen on my cell phone about every two weeks with a new picture of Chaz. Then for no reason at all I’ll click my phone just to see her, and always smile back at her. I’ve been keeping my phone close to me these days.Cell phones... maybe they’re just misun- derstood.DON’T MISS YOUR CHANCE TO WIN!Be a super sleuth... join the ongoing hunt for Rick DeRuiterPour through the pages of Scene this month and find theelusive DeRuiter. Warn your friends. Warn your neighbors. He’s in there somewhere, waiting for the one lucky detective to find him!LAST MONTH... Page... 22 LAST MONTH’S WINNER... DEB WITHEELOOK! - Now you can e-mail your detective work too! Include your name, daytime phone and what page you found him.OR on-line at... www.scenepub.comWHERECOULD HE BE?Have you found him in this issue?If yes, call Scene at 979-1410 ext. 307 or email to have your name entered in the drawing to receive A GIFT CERTIFICATE TO A LOCAL EATERY. You must make your discovery by February 5, 2019 and the winner will be announced in the next issue of Scene!WIN A VALUABLE PRIZE!4 SCENE 4401 I MEN IN BUSINESS

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